Top Five Terrible Signs In A Profile

Top Five Terrible Signs In A Profile

by ChristianCrush Team

Somehow dating has managed to get both easier and harder in the past few years. Online dating companies appeared to simplify things for a while.  Find your match! Get true love! And all you have to do is fill out a handy-dandy profile. The problem is that things are very rarely as simple as they seem, and online dating has proven it. Sure, you can consider literally thousands more people than you ever knew existed. But it also means that you often encounter more creeps and criminals than before.

 

You should definitely be cautious when it comes to talking to people via text, voice, or email. Yet keeping a wary eye out for catfish is something that should take place from the very beginning, from the moment you click on someone else’s profile. Of course, the problem with this kind of caution is that it often feels like taking a standardized test where all the answers seem just as good as one another.

 

If you want to make sure you escape scams and the dates you try aren’t awful ideas to begin with, try looking for these four terrible signs of online dating profiles:

 

1. No pictures

 

There she is. The lady with no pictures.  The rest of her profile might be complete, but the only reason you know she’s blond is because she told you so. The profile that has plenty of text but no pictures is probably one of the shadiest. Some people have a good reason, such as getting ahead of themselves in the profile creation process. Maybe it just slipped by them and they’re uploading things as you read. The person to really watch out for, then, is the one who has never and most likely will never have photos. If they’ve been online for more than a week and nothing has been added, you may want to move on.

 

2. Pictures without words

 

On the other extreme from No. 1 is this winner, which is a profile that’s all pictures and very few biographical facts. My favorite example is someone who says they are too busy to fill in all the questions. Really? You’re too busy to tell me how tall you are? It’s a wonder they find the time to start the profile to begin with! There are people who aren’t very chatty or open online, but it’s not too difficult to figure out the etiquette for what does and doesn’t get said online. If someone only posts pictures and neglects the rest of their online profile, they may be used to getting their way purely based on their attractiveness.

 

3. Negativity

 

If the pictures are all there and the profile looks mostly complete, glance through what they say and look for anything negative. This means sentences that have a lot of negative words like “I’ll never,” “I can’t,” or “I won’t.” Usually they are followed with statements about certain types of people, such as, “I’ll never date someone from Switzerland.”  If they cut themselves down too often, you may want to steer clear. Trash talking themselves or certain stereotyped people can only lead to negativity and bad dating experiences down the road.

 

4. Déjà vu and Wha-? moments

 

Once you’ve decided that the general profile is complete and trustworthy, get down to the nitty-gritty and analyze what it actually says. If you’d like, you can treat it like a college philosophy class and constantly ask, “And what did he mean by that?” It’s also important to look for information that doesn’t match or seems way too familiar. Does their year of birth match up with any childhood stories? If they talk about their city or town, does it match what you know (or what Google can tell you) about those places? Be as thorough as you can – some people simply copy+paste biographies and information can get mixed up in the transfer.

 

5. Analyze their faith

 

Does the person's faith history sound authentic or really generic like they are making it up? You want to find someone who's faith history seems very personal and real. This area combined with their favorite verse can often tell you how active they are in their walk with Christ or if they are more of a cultural Christian without much intimacy with Him. Be sure to message them follow up questions about their faith as well to verify their solid connection with Christ.

 

At the end of the day, use wisdom when you look through online profiles. That doesn’t mean you have to treat everyone who has a slightly incomplete profile or only one (bad) photo as a leper. Sometimes second and third chances are needed for God’s plan to take effect. Just aim for all the best qualities of wisdom from James 3:17: “peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere”

 

Please share this post with others and comment below!

 

 Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a licensed psychologist in Denver, CO and founder of ChristianCrush, the Colorado Marriage Refresh, and Fisher Christian Counseling Services

 

 

 What other terrible signs do you watch for and why?

Comments (15)

ConstantineSo far I am seeing profiles where a woman will only answer some of the available questions, and the answers tend to be really short. I can tell you, if someone cannot or will not express herself, or uses short, blunt sentences, that will not pique my interest much. Also, I will usually not look at a profile without a picture because I feel like the person might be hiding something. That said, I am intimidated myself at the idea of posting a video....that exposes you in much greater ways than a photo. Still working up to the idea of that one. I guess I would prefer it if I were allowed to grant access to a video on a person by person basis, but just not open it up to everyone being able to see it, if that makes sense.
By Constantine on July 11, 2017 @ 11:47pm MT 66

Dr. WyattThanks Constantine....yes, thorough answers and photos are a must for good profiles
By Dr. Wyatt on July 16, 2017 @ 10:24pm MT

Well, I guess that makes my profile the typical red flag.... no photo and I have no intention of providing one unless I know the person. So if they find my profile content intriguing enough, but are put off because they can't see my face, I consider that an issue. I think I discuss photos in my profile. The one comment that resonates in the article in the comments is the process of engaging on an interrogative level.Because the depth, scope of person, includig Christians isn't going to boiler plated in a single profile comment of a book that goes around the planet.
By on September 30, 2015 @ 3:56pm MT 66

Dr. WyattYes, photos and videos build trust and within the online dating world, building trust is essential
By Dr. Wyatt on October 1, 2015 @ 7:04am MT

Paul MubiruThanks Dr. Wyatt for updating us, and alerting us of what we might come across. The problem I have is how to start a conversation being to forward has brought me problems. How can I improve on my approach?
By Paul Mubiru on April 14, 2014 @ 8:02am MT 66

Dr. WyattThanks Paul...yes, coming on too strong can definitely be a turn off. Most women want a slow warm up phase where the focus is on getting to know them through comments and questions about their profile.
By Dr. Wyatt on April 14, 2014 @ 10:24pm MT

RubyJewelI don't know if this is a terrible sign, but I think it's a bad sign when a man's profile pic is of him not smiling. Or worse, actually grimacing. I have seen one after another. I dare say the majority of male profile pics look grumpy! Why would you ever think that's the best way to present yourself? I totally understand being unhappy with ones teeth; I hate mine! But you can smile with your lips closed, right? That makes SUCH a difference to me. I hope men will read this comment and pay heed. A smiling face is much more attractive than a frowning or scowling face… and it says you have something to smile about. Just saying… "A glad heart makes a cheerful face…" ~ Proverbs 15:13
By RubyJewel on April 12, 2014 @ 8:56pm MT 66

Dr. WyattGood one RubyJewel, I've also read research on how one of the top things people are drawn to in someone is their level of warmth, which is often measured by how much they smile.
By Dr. Wyatt on April 13, 2014 @ 6:03am MT

I totally agree about not smiling in a picture. It's important to me and indicates some things about that person
By on February 6, 2017 @ 5:08am MT

Very helpful tips in our daily search.God Bless
By on April 12, 2014 @ 2:28pm MT 66

Dr. WyattThank you Pollenjoycezm....glad you found the tips helpful!
By Dr. Wyatt on April 12, 2014 @ 4:36pm MT

First of all I want to commend you Dr Wyatt for the integrity of Christian crush, you are so thorough and honest from my observation. The fact that you answer every member's comment- shows care and commitment. I believe many of us appreciate this gesture and make us trust you even more. I agree with the skype or face time, but that can be photogenic under a well arranged place, powdered face and well- cut -hair- do. ChristianCrush's vision is to match-genuine Christians, so my little comment is to observe the contents of their words and text, if it is full of self or wordly words without Christ like words, then they are not devoted believers. Asking questions in mail or dating time about service groups in church and tithing will reveal a fraud or committed on Sunday- Sunday floor member Christian. I prefer to meet my first date not on a dinner table or outdoor activities but in his church, to see his area of service and how long or faithful- he has been serving. Church service area is a great sign of commitment to Christ, can a man work in an office without assigned duties? like-wise a believer without service in church can't say Jesus is their master because they are not his servants, that is my opinion. Keep up the good work, very soon your site shall be filled up.
By on April 12, 2014 @ 1:47pm MT 66

Dr. WyattThank you Faith Lami...I appreciate all of your encouragement and positive feedback. Yes, watching someone serve in their church is a true sign of their integrity with Christ.
By Dr. Wyatt on April 12, 2014 @ 4:35pm MT

biblemanSo much appreciate your input. My observations thus far is that your scrutiny of predators is good. What can be done about comparing photo's copied from another website and then married up to material from a 3rd parties website. Can there be a disclaimer that asks all parties to resort to face to face first before leaving the website? In my history (though I am no George Clooney) most frauds have gone away when Skype or FaceTime are options. Yahoo Messenger is a FAVORITE of theirs as their video conferencing can be taped and relayed for enough seconds to make their identity seem authentic before their sound cuts out.
By bibleman on April 12, 2014 @ 9:07am MT 66
Dr. WyattThanks BibleMan...Yes, requesting a Skype or FaceTime chat before meeting someone in person is very wise to really get a feel for their authenticity and to ensure they are consistent with what they've presented in their profile and messages.
By Dr. Wyatt on April 12, 2014 @ 9:12am MT

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