Top Four Ways To Survive Singleness

Top Four Ways To Survive Singleness

by Michelle Graham

Modern culture is determined to make a significant other the most important thing that happens to a person in life. Religious circles aren’t the only ones that put so much emphasis on marriage, and the secular world is at a loss on what to do with the growing number of singles.

 

One of the problems, according to DiDonato, is that while there are more singles than ever, they are not necessarily happier to be single than those from decades or even centuries ago. Married people and those in committed long term relationships tend to approach singles with a sort of pity. Single women are especially pitied because everyone seems to believe that being single can only be a constant source of pain and suffering (DiDonato par. 1).

 

“[W]e often stigmatize single individuals, falsely equating being single with failure or a personality problem” (DiDonato par. 2). Because singles believe that a life without a significant other essentially equals a life of failure, they become afraid of being alone. This fear leads to not-so-wise relationship decisions.  Some people will stay in unhealthy relationships for years simply because they fear the single life and the connotations that come with it (DiDonato par. 4). They settle for “less ideal romantic partners and less ideal relationships” (par. 6).

 

But all of this fear means that people miss out on the actual good things that come with being unattached. It leaves more time to become purely independent and to foster close connections with friends and family. Opportunities for travel and other adventures can be taken advantage of without worrying about a spouse. This freedom is where much of the joy of singleness lies (par. 7).

 

Paul was one of those New Testament people who was actually called to be single – and he liked it that way! In fact, he wanted everyone to be called to it like he was, because it’s so much easier to do God’s will when you don’t have a spouse to worry about. So, here are four ways to survive what society tells us is a terrible, awful time:

 

1. Whatever stage your life is in, embrace it

 

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8).

 

2. Don’t let fear lead you to bad relationship choices

 

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).

 

3. Don’t think for a minute that God has forgotten you

 

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

 

4. Focus on God and his work

 

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:32).

When God says that it’s time to be single, don’t pout and refuse to trust him.  When the Israelites left Egypt and then stopped listening to God it took them 40 years to travel a distance that normally took 11 days (Deut. 1:2-3). Just remember that you are not alone and this is the time to have some fun and get closer to God.

 

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 Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a licensed psychologist in Denver, CO and founder of ChristianCrush, the Colorado Marriage Refresh, and Fisher Christian Counseling Services

 

 

 

 

What other tips would you give singles to not only survive but thrive?

Comments (24)

Just beautiful. I thank God for this site . I am truly encouraged and strengthened to trust God knowing He is with me and has got great plans for my life . Such great love.
By on February 4, 2016 @ 9:16am MT 68

Dr. WyattThank you Anna....may you feel God's presence along life's many peaks and valleys
By Dr. Wyatt on February 4, 2016 @ 2:26pm MT

Yes, for some singles fear does seem to push them into a relationship with someone that is not the best fit. I was reading a book the other day, Love Story I think it is called, that spoke about this and it was really bang on. The gist of it is that when we do not spend time with God as a single we make decisions apart from Him, making decisions apart from God never ends well.
By on March 7, 2015 @ 5:29am MT 68

Dr. WyattYes, our flesh continually wants to do things our way instead of God's way....nice points!
By Dr. Wyatt on March 7, 2015 @ 7:32pm MT

Amen it's encouraging as a single young man from Kenya God Bless
By on May 21, 2014 @ 5:31am MT 68

Dr. WyattGlad you found it encouraging Mirie!
By Dr. Wyatt on May 22, 2014 @ 7:50am MT

I know God has prepared the right woman for me...
By on May 10, 2014 @ 10:25pm MT 68

Dr. WyattAmen
By Dr. Wyatt on May 11, 2014 @ 9:46pm MT

Thank you...I am reminded......fear not, for I am with you Isaiah 41:10 Amen!
By on May 10, 2014 @ 12:02pm MT 68

Dr. WyattYou're welcome....glad the article served as a healthy reminder.
By Dr. Wyatt on May 11, 2014 @ 9:45pm MT

Wow......thank u
By on May 8, 2014 @ 3:07pm MT 68

Dr. WyattYou're welcome Bonggs....glad you found it helpful!
By Dr. Wyatt on May 8, 2014 @ 7:19pm MT

I know God has prepared the right man for me, because His plans are greater than mine. He knows what and who's best for me.
By on May 8, 2014 @ 1:41am MT 68

Dr. WyattAmen Heldine!
By Dr. Wyatt on May 8, 2014 @ 7:19pm MT

Blessed by this article and very motivated
By on May 5, 2014 @ 6:54am MT 68

Dr. WyattGlad to hear it Walkin!
By Dr. Wyatt on May 5, 2014 @ 9:23pm MT

Such an important article, helping us to remember that God is in control! We have to trust Him every step of the way!
By on May 3, 2014 @ 8:09pm MT 68

Dr. WyattAmen Kellb...yes, learning to trust in His guidance is key.
By Dr. Wyatt on May 4, 2014 @ 8:45am MT

Great article. This reminds me to be patient and wait on God's timing.
By on May 3, 2014 @ 5:23pm MT 68

Dr. WyattYes, learning to be patient on God's timing is definitely a journey and not a destination.
By Dr. Wyatt on May 4, 2014 @ 8:45am MT

I always trust the Lord for whatever plan He has on me. Thank you for the enlightening article.
By on May 3, 2014 @ 5:00pm MT 68

Dr. WyattYou're welcome Tulip...glad you found it enlightening!
By Dr. Wyatt on May 4, 2014 @ 8:44am MT

Great article!!
By on May 3, 2014 @ 2:18pm MT 68
Dr. WyattThanks Maggie!
By Dr. Wyatt on May 3, 2014 @ 3:31pm MT

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