Top Four Ways To Survive Singleness
by Michelle Graham
Modern culture is determined to make a significant other the most important thing that happens to a person in life. Religious circles aren’t the only ones that put so much emphasis on marriage, and the secular world is at a loss on what to do with the growing number of singles.
One of the problems, according to DiDonato, is that while there are more singles than ever, they are not necessarily happier to be single than those from decades or even centuries ago. Married people and those in committed long term relationships tend to approach singles with a sort of pity. Single women are especially pitied because everyone seems to believe that being single can only be a constant source of pain and suffering (DiDonato par. 1).
“[W]e often stigmatize single individuals, falsely equating being single with failure or a personality problem” (DiDonato par. 2). Because singles believe that a life without a significant other essentially equals a life of failure, they become afraid of being alone. This fear leads to not-so-wise relationship decisions. Some people will stay in unhealthy relationships for years simply because they fear the single life and the connotations that come with it (DiDonato par. 4). They settle for “less ideal romantic partners and less ideal relationships” (par. 6).
But all of this fear means that people miss out on the actual good things that come with being unattached. It leaves more time to become purely independent and to foster close connections with friends and family. Opportunities for travel and other adventures can be taken advantage of without worrying about a spouse. This freedom is where much of the joy of singleness lies (par. 7).
Paul was one of those New Testament people who was actually called to be single – and he liked it that way! In fact, he wanted everyone to be called to it like he was, because it’s so much easier to do God’s will when you don’t have a spouse to worry about. So, here are four ways to survive what society tells us is a terrible, awful time:
1. Whatever stage your life is in, embrace it
“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8).
2. Don’t let fear lead you to bad relationship choices
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).
3. Don’t think for a minute that God has forgotten you
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
4. Focus on God and his work
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:32).
When God says that it’s time to be single, don’t pout and refuse to trust him. When the Israelites left Egypt and then stopped listening to God it took them 40 years to travel a distance that normally took 11 days (Deut. 1:2-3). Just remember that you are not alone and this is the time to have some fun and get closer to God.
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What other tips would you give singles to not only survive but thrive?