Online Dating Profile Tips -Top Ten!
by Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D. and Michelle Graham
When it comes to putting together an online dating profile, it’s no surprise everyone wants to create something perfect. There are dozens of articles and lists that compile the deepest secrets of the art of online dating profile tips, but you don’t have to read them all to craft something ideal. Here's our top ten Christian online dating profile tips and they probably aren’t the things you expect! Creating an ideal profile is the first step towards online dating success.
There is no need to bend the rules or tweak the truth. Sure, you were 29 last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. But sooner or later, the truth will find a way out. Unless you want to have a life that feels like a soap opera, don’t mess with facts and qualities you wish weren’t true. Let someone else lie about their weight or height, and you can rest confident in the fact that you are faithful to the truth (Prov. 12:22). Our new, Christ-driven selves should not be capable of lying (Col. 3:9), so no resume-fudging allowed!
Entire websites are dedicated to people who seem to forget that the Internet is a public forum. I saw a web comic the other day that likened Facebook status updates to a guy with a megaphone announcing things to every person he knows. Yet the things we announce then go out to people we don’t know. It’s common sense to keep confidential information to yourself – that includes addresses and phone numbers. Be wise in what you share, because the Internet will keep it forever. It’s all about boundaries (Eph. 5:15-17). Getting to know another person doesn’t mean you have to tell them each of your secrets as soon as possible. That kind of intimacy should be earned, not freely given. Play your cards closer to your chest, keep some things for later, and you may find that your relationships are more interesting from the get-go (Prov. 17:27-28).
No one wants to spend time with a party pooper, and to avoid sucking the life from the party you just have to think happy thoughts. Inviting people to learn more about you is as easy as sharing information that will attract like-minded individuals. Profiles that are full of negativity often get skipped over. Stick with optimistic, welcoming comments instead of lists of things you aren’t looking for in a mate (Romans 12:13). Men and women will see you as less of a Grinch and more of a disciple of Christ.
The healthiest relationships, whether they sprout from meeting through friends or online dating, are those belonging to couples with similar core values. This isn’t to say that they have identical beliefs on every large subject – just the biggest ones. Weave your values into every question you answer so there can’t be any surprises down the road. Having core values in common might not seem like a huge deal on the first or second date, but down the road that fact could make things more difficult. Just as no one can serve two masters, it’s hard to live with a non-Christian and still grow in your faith. (Matt. 6:24)
Don’t sugarcoat your faith because you think that doing so might get you a better date. If you believe Jesus is the Savior and the only one worthy of that name, say so. Don’t hide it until the last possible moment – show people how your faith shines in everything you do. Thinking nice thoughts about God is nothing compared to verbally claiming his plans as your own. It might feel like sticking your neck out, but confessing your faith with confidence is the best thing you can do for your future relationships (Rom. 10:9).
There’s a reason journalists are taught to put the most important, essential information in the first four sentences of their articles – people in general don’t like reading more than that. Of course there are exceptions, but many, including those browsing online dating profiles, will simply read the first couple of lines to get the gist of things. Too little information, and they may not know how to respond or interact with you. Too much information, and they may feel overwhelmed to the point of non-interaction. The trick is to find a balance. Try to come up with something honest, succinct, and with just a little bit of a cliff hanger. The wise will want to understand you better (Prov. 18:2), and no one will be overwhelmed with novellas of surplus information.
Almost everyone loves a good laugh, but too much humor can seem suspicious. Many people use witticisms to cover something up. They may also be joking a lot because they don’t have much else to say. Use sincere words along with funny moments and potential dates will see that your heart is true. Besides, comedy doesn’t always translate well to the computer screen. What you think is a great turn-of-phrase, with the wrong emphasis, could turn into a disaster. Instead of writing a whole stand-up act, show that you have integrity and dignity, and sprinkle in your humor like seasoning (Titus 2:7). If they catch on to your humor online, you can get them laughing in person.
Many a first date has gone awry because the participants weren’t well-prepared. Everyone has a handful of deal breakers in mind, but not everyone says them straight out. Take some time to think on your deal breakers and create a consolidated list. Some people just aren’t worth your time, and it’s safest to decide who these types of people are before you get too deep in a relationship (2 Tim. 3:1-5). Many “deal breakers” are personal preferences, but that doesn’t mean you should list every single thing that turns you off to dating. Grab your top three things, maybe five at the most, and consider accompanying them with a short explanation so no one misunderstands what you mean.
Humility and honesty are similar, but humility goes further. No one wants to seem less than they are, and this often leads to an attempt to portray perfection online. But, just as with lies, trumped-up perfection is easily washed away. This doesn’t mean you should talk about all your issues and complexes, but leave traces of them so others know that you’re aware of your own humanity. Humility also means the boast-worthy things are balanced with sincere, honest insights. Show what kind of person you are deep down and your other characteristics will just be icing on the cake. (Phil 2:3-11).
If you’re worried about creating the perfect profile, pray about it. It’s amazing how quickly worry and nerves melt away when you let God get involved (Phil. 4:6). You don’t need to actually say, “I’ve prayed and prayed about this profile and I know God gave me the perfect words.” You may never have the perfect answers, but God certainly works out things for the good of those who love him.
So there you go, ten qualities to be mindful of when filling out your Christian online dating profile.
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What’s your reaction to these ten and what would you omit or add?