Let Jesus Be Your Gate Keeper
by Alia Fisher
You adore him or her! What a gift from God that special someone is! God's purpose for relationships is clear: He wants to extend His love for us in tangible ways through the hands and feet, the words of affection, and the companionship of others.
Genesis 2:18 reads: The Lord God said, "It is NOT GOOD for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
No doubt, part of God's design is for us to meet our needs for love and belonging through deep connection and fellowship with others who know us intimately. Even the Father Himself lived in intimate fellowship with the Son and the Holy Spirit before the creation of the world. It was perfect harmony. And since we are made in His image, He knows how much we need close intimate companionship!
We run into problems however, when we forget the Gift-Giver and focus more on the gift. The gift we were so blessed to receive can sometimes become more important to us than the Source of the gift. When we turn to idolizing a relationship, we replace a space only God can and should fill. We become overly focused on that person, no longer focusing as much on our amazing God, the One who knows what's best for us and gave us the gift in the first place. The problem is that we are often wounded growing up, and those unhealed wounds can lead us to start fearing loss, controlling our relationships to a point where there is no longer freedom, and we end up worshipping the gift rather than the Giver.
If you are stuck in idolizing a spouse or significant other, if you feel controlled by some fear or need surrounding the relationship, it is time to come clean and get God back into the place He needs to be. This requires some shifting of attitudes. If God truly is the Giver of good gifts, and if we believe that He gave us a person to love and be loved in return, we can deduce that He wants to bless us! He would not want to take the gift away. But when we begin to white-knuckle that gift, God is no longer in control over that gift and He no longer gets the credit for it. We take away God's role and glory when we try to control the relationship ourselves.
Basically, our hearts have lost their desire to surrender to Him, and so we slip into idolatry in that relationship. Our hands are no longer open to receiving His best plan. We become bound by our desires and fears. Instead, Jesus yearns to be our relational Gatekeeper. Imagine this: Imagine walking down the road of life with Jesus, and allowing Him to walk in between you and your special someone. Imagine that every deep relational need is first whispered in His ear, and then you patiently wait for His provision. Then every blessing that comes through Him is received with gratitude. Imagine trusting Him enough to give you how much you need of the person standing on the other side of Him! That is the perspective He wants us to have! We display our loyalty and trust in God by letting Him dictate what we need and what is too much. And when we are blessed, we thank Him first. He wants the best for you! Can you release your grip and let Him be the Gatekeeper of your needs and your gift?
What's been your experience with idolizing relationships?