Remembering Not To Worry
by Michelle Graham
I think most of my prayers are something along the lines of, “Um, God? Could I get a little help down here?” Usually I ask because I simply have no idea what has gone wrong. When you know the will of God, few things phase you. It’s like a light at the end of a tunnel, and no matter what happens, all you have to do is think of that plan, and everything is fine. On the other hand, when all you do is hope for the will of God, it’s far too easy to forget to not worry about things.
I’m the kind of Type-A person who organizes my closet by color, creates to-do lists as often as a baker makes cookies, and worries like crazy when I feel out of control. It is only a matter of time before I look up at God and tell Him that He’s doing something the wrong way–that His will isn’t quite up to snuff. Many of you probably know the drill: one minute you’re leading your life as normal and the next, everything normal has been transmuted into something that looks a lot like a horrible car wreck.
When I’m thrown for a loop like that, I often forget to think about the plan behind it all. I’m selfish, after all, and I want to know what in the world God is doing up there. Doesn’t he even care that the most important things in my life just imploded?
He even tells me that He has my back, and that I don’t need to panic. His strength is my strength, and He will hold me steady (Isaiah 41:10). Why, then, does each and every one of us have moments of complete and utter despair? Of all the things we learn to do as Christians, remembering is quite possibly what we forget to do the most. Every day I wish I could remember how blessed I am and how I don’t have to worry about anything. Instead, I try to take things into my own hands.
A very long time ago, Isaiah 45:1-7 was prayed over me. As a middle schooler, all I heard was the excitement of treasure and the power of God. Granted, those are great messages to understand, but as I grew older, I needed to dive deeper into other elements of the verses. The point wasn’t that I was going to get diamonds and rubies, but that before I even reached those places in my life, God would be there.
Maybe if I had a better memory, I could remember everything I’ve learned about following God and looking for his will in my life. The plan God has for me is bigger and brighter than anything I can see, even if I get to look at it with 20/20 hindsight. In the end, it means living in a state that is partly knowing God’s will and partly hoping for God’s will. There’s no way I can ever completely know what goes on in His head, but I can humble myself and remember everything he has taught me over the years, instead of yelling at him when I don’t understand something the Most High is doing.
What area of life do you struggle trusting God the most and why?