Christian Marriage Infographics
by ChristianCrush Team
Marriage traditions tell us that when two people are married, they become one unit. It might seem strange that, not only do two individuals become one flesh, they also tend to experience the same things as other married couples do. Scientists see that there is a pattern in almost every marriage, and once you recognize the pattern in your own relationship, you may be better equipped to be happy and successful in it. Outside of the timeline, it’s important to show true love to one another, enjoy every state of life, and never give up on what God has designed. Unfortunately, giving up on marriage has become the cultural norm. Even though the divorce rate for practicing Christians is lower than it is for non-practicing Christians, the increase in divorce over the past 50 years has been staggering. As believers, we must stand strong on the commitments we've made to our partner and to God. In our instant gratification culture, we must remember that marriage takes work and feelings will inevitably come and go. Love needs to be viewed much more as a decision than a feeling. Also, if we stay committed God can work incredible miracles both in our heart and in our marriage. Let's strive towards covenant marriages to be a model for the world to see and learn to work through the difficult times in our relationship instead of searching for pleasure elsewhere. Let our marital commitments be lifelong except for the three A's of adultery, abandonment, and abuse.
Every step of a relationship brings changes, but no changes are as big as those that come from getting married. Even couples who have been together for a decade find that officially tying the knot can reveal some obstacles they didn’t even know existed. While you and everyone around you is thinking differently about you and your new spouse, life just seems to get more complicated. Even as you struggle to handle everything in your life, the first years of marriage don’t have to be the end of it all. Part of surviving marriage includes three steps: respect one another, give grace to your spouse, and go on lots of dates. Marriage might not make you perfect, but it does give you a chance to grow closer to God as well as the person you love. Furthermore, marriage should be viewed as one of the best opportunities to grow in your Christ-likeness. What other relationship besides marriage reveals your weaknesses on such a granular level? God uses romantic relationships to highlight our growth areas to become more like Him. Therefore, when these growth areas are revealed (and they will be revealed) don't deny or defend them. Instead, own them and express empathy for the frustration they must cause your partner. Then, process the origins of them and how you could improve. By doing so, you'll be validating your partner's concerns, taking responsibility for your behavior, and becoming more like Jesus all at the same time.
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Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a licensed psychologist in Denver, CO and founder of ChristianCrush, the Colorado Marriage Refresh, and Fisher Christian Counseling Services
What point did you appreciate most in the infographics above?
I’ve enjoyed all the articles I’ve read here on Christian Crush, generally finding them to be very insightful. I did cringe, though, when I read, “The divorce rate is usually the same for both Christians and non-Christians.” Yes, that is terribly disheartening on the surface, but only if we draw the conclusion that faith has no impact on the success of marriage. 83% of Americans self-identify as Christians, but for how many is that just a label with no real significance to how they live their lives? Sociologists have found that the divorce rate among “practicing” Christians is actually significantly lower than the general population. For example, W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist at University of Virginia, concluded from his research that conservative Protestants who regularly attended church were 35% less likely to divorce than secular Americans (https://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/divorce-rate-in-the-church-as-high-as-the-world.aspx).
Imagine a study finds that obesity rates are the same for athletes as they are for the general population, and so concludes that exercising doesn’t have any impact on weight loss? I think we would question the parameters of that study. What if the only criteria for being considered an athlete was simply claiming the title, even if the person only went for a walk once a year or not at all? Could we really draw any meaningful conclusions about the value of being an “athlete” if the term is never defined in any concrete way? I don’t mean to suggest that a person must do this or that activity to be a real Christian. I am saying that an unqualified statement like the one above is unhelpful and reinforces the false idea that practicing the Christian faith doesn’t have any impact on the health of one’s marriage or its chances of success-it does.
thanks for the help, I have always put god first in my relationships
Thanks a lot for this encouragement, I feel lost without like minded people. You have an eye that has light.
Infographics is a nice idea. Go on with it! Thank you for a couple of most meaningful tips.
I'd love to see an infographic focused on chastity while dating. It is amazing to me that even amongst fellow believers, there is this notion that, once you reach a certain stage of life, having sex on dates is just a given… that purity is fine for young people, but for anyone over 30? Ridiculous!
I'm 53 now, so it's pretty tough to find men who are on board with no sex before marriage. One guy asked me how I would know if we were sexually compatible enough for marriage if we didn't have sex at least once first. HA! What ignorance! What self-centeredness!
I mean, I have met several who claim they would go along with it if that's what I wanted, but that's not good enough for me. Maybe I'm being unrealistic, but I want to be with a man who already embraces chastity by his own choice, rather than merely capitulates to my wishes. You know what I mean?
What I'm finding is men who would abstain while dating me, but thought there was nothing wrong with having sex with prior girlfriends, and who would have sex with future girlfriends. That means we just do not have common beliefs. Being equally yoked encompasses SO much more than just believing that Jesus is your savior!
I very much love this post. Keep it up Christiancrush.com team.
Thank you for your guidance. It brings a totally different picture of online dating for me all together. Gbu
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