Helping You Find Mr./Ms. Right

Helping You Find Mr./Ms. Right

by ChristianCrush Team

Sometimes love feels like Hide ‘N’ Seek. Mr. Right is hiding, and the single girl is doing all of the seeking. The problem is that there aren’t only two people involved in the game – there are lots of Mr. Wrongs thrown into the mix. And after two years or ten years of dating the wrong people, it can feel like Mr. Right is going to stay in hiding forever.

 

Part of the reason Mr. Wrong feels so wrong is found in that sinking feeling you have after a not-so-great date. Yet another failed relationship, and what is there to show for it? A name to add to the growing list of people you aren’t compatible with. After a while we are so used to things going badly that we expect it. The other shoe always drops, and it gets harder to feel okay with being self-sufficient and happy without a romantic relationship.

 

But when the line of Mr. Wrongs is finally broken by Mr. Right, dating takes on a whole different meaning. Suddenly the most difficult things are easy. You feel free to be yourself, not the amped-up, constantly charming version you portray to some people. It’s a breeze and it’s simple, and suddenly you understand why all those other dates never would have worked out. 

 

My best friend has incredibly high standards for everything in her life, but especially for the men she dates. She also gets hit on more than just about anyone I know, and usually doesn’t go on more than a few dates with a guy. Why? Of all her many talents, she is an expert at spotting Mr. Wrong. I wish she could bottle this talent to help keep the rest of the women in the world from wasting their time. Instead of trying to make something work and running ourselves ragged in a wrong relationship, how much healthier would it be to give up on the Mr. Wrongs and focus solely on Mr. Right?

 

Dating a Mr. Wrong isn’t always a terrible decision. Sometimes it’s all part of the plan to get to a right place with God. As much as I hate to admit it, some of my worst dating decisions have led to the greatest spiritual growth and time with God. It’s the truth – being foolish in the face of God’s will is a bad idea (Eph. 5:17) but if the end result got me to where I am today, I can’t really argue with the path I’ve taken.

 

While I look for Mr. Right, I try to remember that the wrong guys for me aren’t always obvious. Most of them are genuinely nice people with kind hearts, not rampant anger fiends with violent tendencies. Not every “wrong” date is a drunkard or a fool (although sometimes I wish they would be, just to make them easier to spot). And when the Mr. Wrongs seem to pile higher than Everest, I just remind myself of two guys who had it even worse than me:

 

1.Samson

 

Even Samson thought he had made a pretty good decision when it came to women, and he ended up blind and enslaved. He trusted a pretty face instead of standing vigilant guard over his heart and hair (Judges 16). While I don’t have a Hulk-smash complex like Samson, I do use him for encouragement to wait for the best, not just for pretty things.

 

2. Jacob

 

Jacob was tricked into marrying Mrs. Wrong and had to work even harder to get Mrs. Right (Gen. 29). It would be terrible to wake up one morning to realize you’ve made a terrible mistake.

 

Seeking God’s best feels like it takes a lot of time and effort. But no matter how long it takes, it’s always worth it. No matter how your dating life goes, remember to chase after God’s plans. The easy road might feel faster at first, but it causes more strife in the end. 

 

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Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a believer, psychologist, and owner of ChristianCrush.com, which aims to be the most authentic platform on the web for believers to connect and develop God-honoring relationships.

 

 

What qualities do you look for in trying to find Mr./Ms. Right?

Comments (18)

jkateshiThank you.
By jkateshi on July 14, 2014 @ 6:29am MT 75

Dr. WyattYou're welcome!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 14, 2014 @ 4:25pm MT

moii.meWow! Really wonderful article and very refreshing and revealing too! I think though that we get all wrapped up and more focused on finding the 'mr right' than working on making ourselves also the right one, we can't be the wrong one and expect to find the right one so much as 'mr right' is really important, I also am working on being the right one the lord will bless me with.
By moii.me on July 9, 2014 @ 8:18am MT 75

Dr. WyattGreat points moii...yes, it definitely can be easy to focus too much on finding Mr/Ms Right and not enough on making ourselves Mr/Ms Right.
By Dr. Wyatt on July 10, 2014 @ 10:53am MT

Angel 18Thank you! Great article! I have been thinking of giving up on finding Mr. Right. I pray for a Godly man and a kind heart. We should help one another in our walk with Christ. Iron sharpens iron. Blessings!
By Angel 18 on July 5, 2014 @ 8:43am MT 75

Dr. WyattThanks Angel...Yes, finding someone to help us in our walk as we help them in theirs is a beautiful dynamic.
By Dr. Wyatt on July 5, 2014 @ 9:16am MT

queenestherGod bless ,love this
By queenesther on July 5, 2014 @ 5:00am MT 75

Dr. WyattThanks Queenesther....God bless you too!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 5, 2014 @ 6:25am MT

Thank you! I really enjoyed this article. It helps me to see that others struggle and that I am not alone. I am looking for an honest man that I could pray with and for. God Bless~
By on July 4, 2014 @ 11:52am MT 75

Dr. WyattThanks trmac719...you're definitely not alone...glad you found it helpful!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 5, 2014 @ 6:25am MT

God fearing for sure. She needs to be someone who follows God and loves his word and commandments
By on July 3, 2014 @ 3:31pm MT 75

Dr. WyattAmen Akg!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 4, 2014 @ 10:02am MT

BlessedLadyAmen! I love this article. God bless you ChristianCrush Team
By BlessedLady on July 2, 2014 @ 2:43am MT 75

Dr. WyattThank You Oarah...I really appreciate your positive feedback!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 3, 2014 @ 10:43am MT

Honestly, kindness, and a sense of humor
By on July 1, 2014 @ 10:54pm MT 75

Dr. WyattYes...humor can really go a long way.
By Dr. Wyatt on July 3, 2014 @ 10:42am MT

s.ikonMy Ms. should be God fearing, humble, lovely, hospitable, caring and a good mother.
By s.ikon on July 1, 2014 @ 6:39pm MT 75
Dr. WyattThanks...these are great qualities!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 3, 2014 @ 10:42am MT

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