Helping You Find Mr./Ms. Right
by ChristianCrush Team
Sometimes love feels like Hide ‘N’ Seek. Mr. Right is hiding, and the single girl is doing all of the seeking. The problem is that there aren’t only two people involved in the game – there are lots of Mr. Wrongs thrown into the mix. And after two years or ten years of dating the wrong people, it can feel like Mr. Right is going to stay in hiding forever.
Part of the reason Mr. Wrong feels so wrong is found in that sinking feeling you have after a not-so-great date. Yet another failed relationship, and what is there to show for it? A name to add to the growing list of people you aren’t compatible with. After a while we are so used to things going badly that we expect it. The other shoe always drops, and it gets harder to feel okay with being self-sufficient and happy without a romantic relationship.
But when the line of Mr. Wrongs is finally broken by Mr. Right, dating takes on a whole different meaning. Suddenly the most difficult things are easy. You feel free to be yourself, not the amped-up, constantly charming version you portray to some people. It’s a breeze and it’s simple, and suddenly you understand why all those other dates never would have worked out.
My best friend has incredibly high standards for everything in her life, but especially for the men she dates. She also gets hit on more than just about anyone I know, and usually doesn’t go on more than a few dates with a guy. Why? Of all her many talents, she is an expert at spotting Mr. Wrong. I wish she could bottle this talent to help keep the rest of the women in the world from wasting their time. Instead of trying to make something work and running ourselves ragged in a wrong relationship, how much healthier would it be to give up on the Mr. Wrongs and focus solely on Mr. Right?
Dating a Mr. Wrong isn’t always a terrible decision. Sometimes it’s all part of the plan to get to a right place with God. As much as I hate to admit it, some of my worst dating decisions have led to the greatest spiritual growth and time with God. It’s the truth – being foolish in the face of God’s will is a bad idea (Eph. 5:17) but if the end result got me to where I am today, I can’t really argue with the path I’ve taken.
While I look for Mr. Right, I try to remember that the wrong guys for me aren’t always obvious. Most of them are genuinely nice people with kind hearts, not rampant anger fiends with violent tendencies. Not every “wrong” date is a drunkard or a fool (although sometimes I wish they would be, just to make them easier to spot). And when the Mr. Wrongs seem to pile higher than Everest, I just remind myself of two guys who had it even worse than me:
Even Samson thought he had made a pretty good decision when it came to women, and he ended up blind and enslaved. He trusted a pretty face instead of standing vigilant guard over his heart and hair (Judges 16). While I don’t have a Hulk-smash complex like Samson, I do use him for encouragement to wait for the best, not just for pretty things.
Jacob was tricked into marrying Mrs. Wrong and had to work even harder to get Mrs. Right (Gen. 29). It would be terrible to wake up one morning to realize you’ve made a terrible mistake.
Seeking God’s best feels like it takes a lot of time and effort. But no matter how long it takes, it’s always worth it. No matter how your dating life goes, remember to chase after God’s plans. The easy road might feel faster at first, but it causes more strife in the end.
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Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a believer, psychologist, and owner of ChristianCrush.com, which aims to be the most authentic platform on the web for believers to connect and develop God-honoring relationships.
What qualities do you look for in trying to find Mr./Ms. Right?