Three Ways to Fight Our Divorce Culture
by ChristianCrush Team
The day you get married, you’re that much closer to getting a divorce. At least, that’s what the world says. Divorce rates are higher than they have ever been, and very few people seem to treat marriage with the same kind of respect as before. Some, like Dr. Shermer-Sellers, believe that modern culture makes marriage fragile. Back in the day, marriages were built on family pacts and matchmakers. Today, the holy union involves more freedom for everyone involved. This isn’t to say that arranged marriages are or were loveless, but a primary focus of marriage today is love. If a couple isn’t in love, they don’t tie the knot. The problem is that love takes a lot of maintenance, and even a few days of neglect can leave the flame weak and small. Couples who want to stay married have to learn that love is a decision, not a feeling.
It doesn’t help that divorce has become so prevalent there is almost no stigma attached to it. Marriages end so often it is treated like getting incorrect driving directions, not breaking a covenant. Since many men and women are now capable of being financially independent – really, of being independent in almost every way – being happy is a No. 1 focus. If one half of the couple is unhappy, the marriage often ends in divorce. God’s plan for marriage is for it to last forever. Not until we feel like moving on to the next thing. Not for as long as our spouse’s weird habits are cute. Forever. Mark 10:9 says,“Let no one split apart what God has joined together.” It’s entirely possible that in God’s eyes, once the covenant is signed, you’re married even if you stop thinking you are.
In today’s world, every marriage is under attack by the threat of divorce. Modern society seems to place far too much stock in how happy we are instead of how well we keep promises. Check out these three tips on fighting back against our "divorce culture."
1. Put Commitment Above Emotion
Society’s credo-of-the-day just might be “I do what I want!” It certainly seems like everyone does. Not only do people stop caring about their relationships, they stop caring about other people in general. Now we have a culture so focused on making people happy and being happy that we don’t act like anything else matters. Fight back by standing up for marriages and start putting commitment above emotion.
2. Divorce Is Not God's Heart
Once upon a time, if a woman got divorced there was almost nowhere for her to go. Today, divorce is just a blip on the screen, and while it’s emotional and difficult, it’s not inconceivable to find yourself a new life in a new city, with a new love on your arm. Remember that just because getting a divorce has become relatively easy, it doesn’t make it right. The main exceptions for divorce are the three A’s; adultery, abuse, or abandonment.
3. Divorce Proof Your Relationship
Intentionally divorce proof your relationship by developing a covenant marriage rather than a contract marriage. Also, stay close through regular worship time together, talk time, date nights, etc. Be a role model for other people by showing that marriages can last through thick and thin if you're willing to honor God and your spouse.
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Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D. is a psychologist and faculty member at Liberty University. His blogs at http://www.christiancrush.com/relationship/
What do you think has caused the surge in divorce and what else can Christians do to reverse it?