Three Ways to Fight Our Divorce Culture

Three Ways to Fight Our Divorce Culture

by ChristianCrush Team

The day you get married, you’re that much closer to getting a divorce. At least, that’s what the world says. Divorce rates are higher than they have ever been, and very few people seem to treat marriage with the same kind of respect as before. Some, like Dr. Shermer-Sellers, believe that modern culture makes marriage fragile. Back in the day, marriages were built on family pacts and matchmakers. Today, the holy union involves more freedom for everyone involved. This isn’t to say that arranged marriages are or were loveless, but a primary focus of marriage today is love. If a couple isn’t in love, they don’t tie the knot. The problem is that love takes a lot of maintenance, and even a few days of neglect can leave the flame weak and small. Couples who want to stay married have to learn that love is a decision, not a feeling.  

 

It doesn’t help that divorce has become so prevalent there is almost no stigma attached to it. Marriages end so often it is treated like getting incorrect driving directions, not breaking a covenant. Since many men and women are now capable of being financially independent – really, of being independent in almost every way – being happy is a No. 1 focus. If one half of the couple is unhappy, the marriage often ends in divorce. God’s plan for marriage is for it to last forever. Not until we feel like moving on to the next thing. Not for as long as our spouse’s weird habits are cute. Forever. Mark 10:9 says,“Let no one split apart what God has joined together.” It’s entirely possible that in God’s eyes, once the covenant is signed, you’re married even if you stop thinking you are.

 

In today’s world, every marriage is under attack by the threat of divorce. Modern society seems to place far too much stock in how happy we are instead of how well we keep promises. Check out these three tips on fighting back against our "divorce culture."

 

1. Put Commitment Above Emotion

 

Society’s credo-of-the-day just might be “I do what I want!” It certainly seems like everyone does. Not only do people stop caring about their relationships, they stop caring about other people in general. Now we have a culture so focused on making people happy and being happy that we don’t act like anything else matters. Fight back by standing up for marriages and start putting commitment above emotion.  

 

2. Divorce Is Not God's Heart

 

Once upon a time, if a woman got divorced there was almost nowhere for her to go. Today, divorce is just a blip on the screen, and while it’s emotional and difficult, it’s not inconceivable to find yourself a new life in a new city, with a new love on your arm. Remember that just because getting a divorce has become relatively easy, it doesn’t make it right. The main exceptions for divorce are the three A’s; adultery, abuse, or abandonment.

 

3. Divorce Proof Your Relationship

 

Intentionally divorce proof your relationship by developing a covenant marriage rather than  a contract marriage. Also, stay close through regular worship time together, talk time, date nights, etc. Be a role model for other people by showing that marriages can last through thick and thin if you're willing to honor God and your spouse.

 

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Wyatt Fisher Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D. is a psychologist and faculty member at Liberty University. His blogs at http://www.christiancrush.com/relationship/

 

 

 

What do you think has caused the surge in divorce and what else can Christians do to reverse it?

Comments (8)

Agape love is more than unconditional. Agape says l give you all that l could ever give. lf it's forgiveness, it means even for the meanest and most outrageous act or deed. lf marriages are to survive we spouses should just say 'l love you all the same' without ever trying to measure the extent of the wrong or misdeed of the other party. A surviving marriage is about us (selfless) and not l or you (selfish)
By on July 1, 2014 @ 8:06am MT 74

Dr. WyattHI Tawina....I really appreciate your focus on giving instead of receiving and on forgiveness instead of keeping track of wrongs. May the Lord flow through us with His grace and may our flesh not get in the way.
By Dr. Wyatt on July 1, 2014 @ 9:19am MT

1st- it must be your purpose from the heart and mind that you are going in for good. 2nd- sacrifice will follow because its purpose from the heart and mind 3rd- it will be sustained and established if it's built on Christ our rock
By on July 1, 2014 @ 7:41am MT 74

Dr. WyattAmen Walkin...establishing our marriage on Christ is paramount!
By Dr. Wyatt on July 1, 2014 @ 9:18am MT

Homes are not Christ centered, they are worldly
By on June 30, 2014 @ 5:52pm MT 74

Dr. WyattVery true!
By Dr. Wyatt on June 30, 2014 @ 6:01pm MT

Hello Wyatt, A hardened heart is too independant with pride to obey God's word. In my opinion, amongst many opinions - 3 ways to avoid divorce is to built companionship spiritually and physically, Mark 10 v 7; Is easy to forgive a person you are close with. Real companions do not abandon one another in tough times. secondly, couples must learn to become one, V 8 which requires blending. Blending two nature or culture takes time and patience which could be years. There are habits that will take a long friendship, tolerance and spiritual love expressed through prayer to change, even when natural love dies. I advise that marriage is a covenant as Dr Wyatt said.
By on June 29, 2014 @ 11:46am MT 74
Dr. WyattHello Faith...I really appreciated your point on how the closer we are with our partner the easier it is to forgive them, which is really true.
By Dr. Wyatt on June 30, 2014 @ 6:04pm MT

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