5 Ideas for Avoiding an Awkward First Date
by SingleRoots
We’ve had our fair share of bad dates. So many, in fact, our friends have often told us they would pay our online dating membership just to hear our stories. So when it comes to dating, who better to advise you than those of us who know it well.
1. Don’t talk politics: Sure, at some point you’ll need to know if your date votes red, blue, or some shade of purple, but for now just get to know them. No need to talk politics or abortion or any other controversial matter until at least the second date, if there is a second date. And trust us, there are a million other conversational topics you can cover that will reveal whether or not you should have a second date. Considering you’re both Christians, conversations about Jesus and church attendance and your love for all things Dungeons and Dragons will be enough to let them know if they should run for the hills or stick around. No need to pull out the big guns just yet.
2. Put away the cell phone: We’re not saying you need to leave it in the car, but for goodness sake, take our online Christian dating advice and be completely present on your date. Go ahead and put that phone on silent, too, while you’re at it. Being “present” doesn’t mean digging a ringing phone out of your pocket or purse. Everything can wait until you’re finished with dinner or coffee. Because, really, if the date isn’t going well, you’ll be back in your car and headed home soon anyway. And at that point, our advice becomes, “Don’t text and drive.”
3. Don’t appear too eager: Guys, flowers on a first date can be a tricky thing. If she really likes you, she’ll think they’re lovely. If she’s not too sure, they could creep her out. If you really think you need flowers on that very first date, at least make sure the price tag is removed so she doesn’t know you went the cheap route and picked them up at Walmart for $9.99 on the way. And ladies, if you’re going to Facebook-stalk him before the date, tread carefully with all that knowledge you acquired from perusing his social media accounts. Nothing says “eager” like calling his dog by name when he’s never even mentioned he has a pet.
4. Don’t appear too serious: There’s an art to dating, and to be sure, none of us do it perfectly. But you can also take something that’s supposed to be a fun learning experience and turn it into a somber occasion. If you start with prayer, end with prayer, and send your date off after a discussion of not being able to commit to another date until you’ve had more prayer and fasting about it, you probably don’t need to worry about Date #2 being an option. This being Christian dating advice and all, we believe it’s important to go before the Lord with your decisions, but you can get a little too holy about things.
5. Rip the Band-Aid off: Don’t sit in your car on the phone with your friend while you’re slyly watching your date walk across the parking lot and enter the restaurant. Yes, you’re nervous; your date is, too. Get out of the car and go inside. You’ll have plenty of time when it is over to call your best friend and tell them how you actually had a pleasant evening of conversation and good food—and you won’t have to feel guilty for prematurely judging a really nice person.
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SingleRoots.com focuses on reminding singles that they are more than their dating lives. They offer a host of articles on topics of interest to singles—including church and ministry, career and adventure, stewardship, and spiritual growth—and a variety of resources like their Christian dating site reviews where ChristianCrush is ranked.
What else would you recommend for avoiding an awkward first date?
Comments (6)
My only advice is don't be late! People REALLY don't like tardiness. It's my worst flaw, and believe me, it starts things off very badly.Thanks RubyJewel....yes, being late definitely doesn't send a good message to the person waiting for you.Regarding #3, I think the best advice from a girl's standpoint is to be polite, use those manners your Momma taught ya! You don't have to go out of your way to buy us something but let us know you actually want to be there.Very true LockiLu....making the women feel special is essential.What would I recommend to avoid the awkward first date? Be curious! Be honest! I happen to be very good at talking about myself. Most of is are. However, I find first dates to be much more fun when there is a balance in conversation. So my advice is to be curious about the other person. That doesn't mean you ask all the deep questions like what their childhood was like, but you might want to learn their parents names and maybe something about their siblings. Chances are you talked with them via email or phone by then. Come with a few questions in mind that relate to what you've already talked about, but be sensitive to what they might want to ask you about as well. And when they do ask, be honest. You'll leave a much better first impression when you're genuine. Besides, if you're not right for each other, it's better to find out sooner than later. And you never know, they may be more impressed with the real you than who you think they want you to be. So my advice...be curious, ask questions, and let them see a bit of the person God sees in you.Great ideas Philip...yes, being curious about them and honest about yourself are both very important!Leave a Comment
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